come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize