I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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