if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize