omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize