We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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