Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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