Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

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(818): Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess? http://tfl.nu/uim6

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

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(508): I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON! http://tfl.nu/qryp

Replies (19) Good night (1379) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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(949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly

Replies (7) Good night (1081) Bad night (1632) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...

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(818): I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number... http://tfl.nu/xqo8

Replies (22) Good night (2920) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!

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(914): After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT! http://tfl.nu/umoe

Replies (129) Good night (6195) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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(209): View more from California

Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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(209): Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese? http://tfl.nu/1zro

Replies (53) Good night (3345) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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(917): After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/hjie

Replies (7) Good night (708) Bad night (1505) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?

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(717): I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman? http://tfl.nu/8vyd

Replies (6) Good night (1825) Bad night (533)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine

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(248): Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine http://tfl.nu/ph8k

Replies (3) Good night (1876) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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(573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa

Replies (12) Good night (1517) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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(209): View more from California

I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?

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(209): I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry? http://tfl.nu/5luf

Replies (15) Good night (471) Bad night (1332)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.

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(978): I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground. http://tfl.nu/oy4l

Replies (5) Good night (1550) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.

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(908): Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers. http://tfl.nu/nu4z

Replies (6) Good night (644) Bad night (276) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.

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(727): I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/f77x

Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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(706): View more from Georgia

Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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(706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u

Replies (6) Good night (89) Bad night (344)

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