Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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