Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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