His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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