Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
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I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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