A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
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Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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