Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize