Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize