dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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