Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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