I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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