Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize