I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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