My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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