i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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