Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize