my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize