good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize