so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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