I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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