yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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