Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize