I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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