I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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