I love black thongs
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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