he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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