I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he thought i was a dude.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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