the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize