Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize