It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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