giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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