I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize