i think i have herpe
just one?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
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HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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