Tell her she can't have a vagina
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize