I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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