you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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