Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I did not marry a roomba.
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