I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize