Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They took my balls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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