Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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