Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Vodka?
Forever.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize