I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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