I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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