Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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